Recovering from a computer crash

Yep, back on November 9, my computer crashed hardcore. I've been going absolutely nuts, lol.

But here I am now, back in action. Of course that's after replacing a RAM module, the video card and DVD drive. UG!

I'll be back in full force after the first.

Everyone have a great and safe New Year!

Pregnant women drinking and smoking

**WARNING: Lots of curse words.









There is a woman in my building, she's 6 months pregnant. She's smoked and drank her way thru the pregnancy.

IT PISSES ME OFF!!!

It takes every ounce of control I have not to slap the shit out of her.

If she wants to destroy her body, that's her choice. But what choice does her unborn child have? ERRRRRRRRR.

How can she do this to her baby? I just don't get it. I've nearly bitten my tongue off trying not to give her a piece of my mind.

Tonight, she was half drunk, stumbling up to the building with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. WTF?!?!?!?!?

I miss Kentland

I really do.

It was a really small town, like Mayberry. Where everyone knew everyone, and the neighbors were friendly.

I of course don't miss the ex, but I miss the town. There's not many towns like that.

Anniversary and mammogram

Let me just say, I did nothing for my anniversary and here's why:

On Monday, I had a mammogram. Knew it was gonna be bad, I have fribroid adenomas in my left breast. No surprise, no biggie.

Well, 2 hours after getting it, my doc's office calls:

Nurse: "The doctor wants to see you asap, the test results were abnormal."
Me: Yes, I know, I've had the lumps for about 4 years.
Nurse: No, he compared this mammogram with your last one. Can you come in on Wednesday so he can discuss it with you?

Ok. I made the appointment and spent 36 hours a nervous wreck.

My appointment was this afternoon....well, it was suppose to be. My doc called out to deliver a baby, the computers were down, so I have to call tomorrow to reschedule.

I'm hoping he just tells me it's time for the adenomas to come out, they're achy and cranky. I'm hopinh that's all it is. Tho my Grandmother had breast cancer the first time at my age.

Ug.

I absolutely HATE my life

So, I've been running 40-50% off sales in my store. I actually got an order yesterday. I ask my lil sis last night if she'd take me to the post office (she was off work) of course, not a problem she tells me.

I still haven't heard from her. It pisses me off, she's so flighty. You can't count on her for anything except the fact that you CAN'T count on her. I guess it's to be expected, she's bipolar.

It's just hurts so much, knowing you have no one in your life that you can count on, no one to help when you need it.

We made plans this past weekend, so I could see my niece (her daughter), because I really miss her. Of course, my sister didn't show, didn't call and wouldn't answer the phone.

It just hurts so much. I'd never treat her like this, she wasn't like this before.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to walk the 4 miles to the post office.

I'm going to have to change my therapy appoint again (4th time). So I have a time when the bus can take me, since I can't count on my sister to take me. She misses therapy/psych appointments all the time, lucky if she goes once every 2 months. She may not want help, but I do, I can't stand the depression, I want to get better. Even if she doesn't.

God I wish I had a car.

Caught in a funk

I've really been a mess lately. Can't concentrate, have no interest in anything. Just in a really bad place right now.

No real cause for it or anything, just in the downward spiral.

Wanted to get some afghans done for Christmas, can't get interested in doing them. Then my right arm is killing me.

I'm just a mess. Can't figure out why or how to break it.

What should I do for my anniversary?????????

In 13 days, I will have had my freedom for 1 year. That's huge, major.

What should I do to celebrate? I want to do something to mark the day I left the ex....left the fear behind.

Life may not be perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better than when I was with him.